I accidentally had phone sex last night
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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