But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
