we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
MIDGETS
????
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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