and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think a kid would responsible me up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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