My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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