Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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