I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
