I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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