real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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