I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
