hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
