Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
