yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize