College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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