that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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