the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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