are you still at the devil's house?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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