Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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