I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
