Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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