Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Holy sore nipples Batman
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
