i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
