Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
