I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize