Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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