I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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