And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
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i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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