woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize