Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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