I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You've changed since you got that strap on
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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