you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
