don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We are all done wearing pants today
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
