Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
