I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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