So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
