But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
