and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am available for nakedness
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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