It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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