He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What drink are we having for lunch?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
