So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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