You're so nebulous sometimes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
