im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
