i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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