Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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