I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
