My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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