i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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