Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?