Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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