You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
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He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.