Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  OMG. What did u say?

  (817): View more from Texas

  I told her I did too.

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  (817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too. http://tfl.nu/dz5w
  Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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  (619): I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case http://tfl.nu/xr3i
  Replies (17) Good night (4581) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

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  (608): This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form? http://tfl.nu/l7lr
  Replies (108) Good night (1445) Bad night (4853)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."

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  (403): During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch." http://tfl.nu/35ko
  Replies (29) Good night (1187) Bad night (4519)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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  (847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz
  Replies (19) Good night (7210) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5640) Bad night (1695)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.

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  (248): He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased. http://tfl.nu/h9lw
  Replies (8) Good night (1956) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.

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  (860): Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms. http://tfl.nu/d3j8
  Replies (13) Good night (2204) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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  (248): If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/2nlp
  Replies (2) Good night (2075) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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  (410): Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar http://tfl.nu/p9qp
  Replies (6) Good night (3204) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing

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  (519): Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing http://tfl.nu/fucl
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (2095)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

  (760): View more from California

  THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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  (760): We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix (760): THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE http://tfl.nu/hk7r
  Replies (5) Good night (1543) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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  (920): Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms. http://tfl.nu/5i1h
  Replies (7) Good night (840) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch

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  (559): Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch http://tfl.nu/0nmy
  Replies (7) Good night (719) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

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  (506): I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success. http://tfl.nu/n6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (280)

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