i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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