He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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