Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
