im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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