If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
