A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
