Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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