My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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