I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
