i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
