Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
