I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
