Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
