And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
