thus making me awesome and them whores
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
